"With Marquette Gold, the board has captured, I truly believe, decades of tradition in one profound term..."

That's how the President of Marquette University explained the school's choice to change the school's current nickname from he Golden Eagles to simply "Gold." The move toward more politically correct nicknames has a valid foundation, but Marquette's move illustrates the ultimate in knee-jerk reactions. Think about it: their mascot is a color; or, as the Prez explained it, a "profound term." Maybe all sports teams, so as not to offend any groups whatsoever, should switch to profound team nicknames. From now on, the following teams will be known by a new name:

The Atlanta Braves will now be the Atlanta Aspiration
The Kansas City Chiefs shall be called the Kansas City Burnt Sienna
The Washington Redskins will play as the Washington Premonitions (I have a feeling they're due for a good year)

I can see why Marquette alums are not pleased with the change. One said the new mascot should be "an alumni check with wings flying away." Another suggested "A pretty gold flower, like a pansy. That is what the teams will be viewed as." While a team's play should speak for itself, Journal-Sentinel columnist Dale Hofmann paints a humorous picture of Marquette's new look:

It wasn't clear what shape Marquette's new mascot would take, but a couple of options would be a ripe lemon or an egg fried sunny side up. Only the citrus constituency and the community of the poached could be offended by that. Clearly grist for another meeting.

The uniforms? Well, there are always the old bumblebees if the moths haven't gotten to them. They work with the honey color and evoke memories of Al to boot. Speaking of Al, somebody get him a drink. He's laughing so hard from the grave he could die all over again.

The best reaction to the name change can be seen on this WTMJ news report. The footage of the crowd upon hearing the name change is hilarious. As the on-scene reporter notes, "Kids just about, like, fell over." The report notes that students already have a "Say 'No' to Gold Rally" scheduled for tomorrow.

This should be an interesting story to follow. If anything, I guess Marquette fans can take comfort in the fact that the University decided against one member's suggestion: Pink